Still getting used to this brush/finer detail thing. I like it, but yeah. I need to acclimatise. I might be working in watercolours too, at some point. I’ve started experimenting with those. I told my parents about OCAD and my mom got all excited and bought me supplies as an early Christmas present. I think she’s just happy that someone is still seriously interested after all that childhood training, even though I still want to write for a living.
I’m making the switch because I need creativity. English and Philosophy and Archaeology and whatever are fine. But that’s it. A lot of people seem to be enrolled just because they have to be. Not many people are excited. And I’d rather discuss than be talked to, especially when all anyone ever seems to want to talk about are old ideas. Don’t get me wrong. I have a lot of respect for them. But there’s something about academic English which is so self-canibalising. There’s so much criticism, nothing fresh and real.
I just want to be in something that seems to have people who really care about what they are learning. And I want to care about it too, honestly. There’s a math class in a room before one of my classes and they usually end up holding us up a bit, arguing passionately with chalk on the board. That’s what I want, not math exactly, but even that would be better than a roomful of bored students afraid to challenge the professor’s ideas. Maybe not even afraid. Maybe they just don’t care. I don’t know. I should stop talking about this.
Also I broke up with the Internet. I mean, we still see each other every now and then, but she doesn’t live in my house anymore. I like that. I have more time. I’m working on something large and its several times bigger than anything large I may have mentioned before. I feel like my computer is a tool again, and I remember what it used to feel like to write on, back in the day. It’s exciting. When I’m finished I might self-publish. I mean– I’ll edit it, and if it’s any good I’ll send it to a publisher, but I’ll self-publish in the meantime. John‘s book The Crystal Key got me thinking about the whole process. It’s just exciting to hold something weighty and substantial that was made with real hands.