Tentative, ah, Rumblings
Just update every day. On a topic. I guess. I want to write an essay every week, that’s productive and in a way safe. I mean that I can refine my craft, but a little bit removed so that you don’t have to see the results immediately and think things like “huh” “what” or “this is really terrible, André”. Of course this assumes a “you”, there really isn’t a “you” for the blog and maybe I should work on that as well but how does a person do that in a way that’s not conniving, petty, or mean? Promotion just seems ugly to me at this point, I guess. This isn’t really worth promoting, you know? It’s just a thing. I shouldn’t even think in those terms, ever really.
BESIDES THE FACT IT IS ON THE BACK OF THAT LAST LITTLE BOOK I MADE HI IF YOU CAME HERE FROM THAT, SORRY IF EVERYTHING IS CONFUSING.
This past election Chester Brown ran for the Libertarian party and defended his government grants with “Well, if I don’t take them someone else well, and it’s better that they go to me.” And in that sentiment were two ideas, wrapped up:
- That he deserves the grant, because he is good and works hard.
- That he deserves the grant because it could potentially go to someone who doesn’t work hard, or is not good.
Should I think in similar terms? Or start to? To me it just seems so mercenary.
But it does remind me of something one of my uncles (and I have many) said about my mom’s artwork and how he always thought she should be doing a better job of promotion. And maybe she still should, but I think she has improved in that regard. Related is the fact that her work has settled in a style that is “good” and that I think is “accurate”, does that mean I just don’t feel “settled” in that aspect? But her situation at 22 was much different than my situation now. But why would I even bring it up if I felt “complete” or “whole” artistically?
This post and the post below come from an interview with James Kochalka where he says that American Elf is a great way to structure his day, and to always remain thinking creatively. How he feels bad if he hasn’t made anything, because creating is a huge part of his self-worth. That’s also true for me. I do write usually. I need to get back to writing every day. Even if I don’t necessarily feel like working on what I am working on, I need to write a minimum amount of words. I need to stop worrying about things like what certain people will say. Maybe I need to update this every day too, so I can see what I’ve done and am doing. With at least one entry of substance, or that I am proud of, or that I like, per day.
I’m suddenly reminded of an essay Haruki Murakami wrote about writing for the New Yorker. I could find it for you but you could find it for yourself just as easily. Search “Haruki Murakami” “running” and “New Yorker”.
One thing that I am working on is making writing simpler so that it flows easier from point to point. I have a tendency to hold certain crucial details in my head, which works well for prose poetry but not very well when you are working on a long novel and what is in your head at specific points during the writing changes from day-to-day. I really think that for something short (a comic, a poem, a short story) you can keep the art inside and do a good job, but for longer things you have to focus on telling your story simply and making sure that it is a story, and that it is coherent, and the rest will fall into place. It’s interesting because I think four or five years ago I was good for plot, but I really had to work on style and technique, and now that I’m at plot again it is coming back to me, but slowly, because I spent a long time in the ghetto.