Praise for What if Manny Ramirez and AJ Burnett were best friends in High School:
“Andre, other than Bergkamp and Josh Towers we try to keep the homosexual undertones of being sports fans less obvious.”
-Anonymous commenter on Drunk Jays Fans
“That’s terrible. I don’t even understand why you made this.”
-Lori, my sister-in-law
“Yes, at least the photoshop is good.”
-Lisa, my wife
Recently Mark Teixera signed a 180-million dollar deal to play for the New York Yankees, and so they no longer have any reason to sign Manny Ramirez. Manny Ramirez and AJ Burnett will never be best friends, except in a highly implausible future. This is the worst I could have hoped for. The title of another post, conceived a week ago, was going to be “What if Manny Ramirez and AJ Burnett were best friends on a championship-winning NASCAR team”, but now that post can never exist. Impossible past and future relationships still exist as possibilities, of course, but somehow their existence holds less weight, at least in this reality. Continue reading →