No one ever runs out of hot water

The concierge greets you smiling

Your immunity to the million-dollar view is mysterious; girls like that

The pool is always there, clean & open

No one has ever used the pool, except those shawled Muslim women you once watched through the window

It feels nice to catch the door and hold it for the other residents

The same goes for the elevator

No one ever runs out of hot water

There’s alarm systems on all of the doors, even if no one can figure out how they work

En-suite washer & dryer

When the decor gets stale they paint the hallways for you

The carpets hanging in the service elevator make it look like the womb—comforting

Curtains are unnecessary because you are above all of the other buildings

If anyone tried to break into your apartment a neighbour would probably hear it

No one has ever been found rummaging through the recycling

The time you rummaged through the recycling no one caught you

No matter what time it is the light underneath the doorcrack never extinguishes, reminding you that you are never alone

The fire-alarms foster community

No one ever runs out of hot water

You’ve cultivated a kind of half-nodding, half-wincing relationship with the guy downstairs who is always washing the windows

The gym gets cable

Most of the community rooms are usually free for use

Your apartment sleeps eight pretty comfortably, as long as someone doesn’t mind sleeping on the bath mat

There are plenty of restaurants that deliver

The central air recirculates efficiently

No one ever runs out of hot water

That nice couple in the suite next to yours will give you gifts a couple of times, which you think about reciprocating until you realize that you never see them anyway

No one ever runs out of hot water

You don’t ever have to leave, unless you really want to


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