Open and Closed

At times I am open and at times I am closed. When I’m open, I am directionless, fluid, pliable, and, above all, honest. Closed, I am guarded, unassailable, distant, and I may lie for reasons unclear even to myself. I have never been simultaneously closed and open, which leads me to believe that closed and open are opposites on the same spectrum: “open” an inversion of “closed”, and vice-versa. When I’m open I must feel closed, because I continuously demonstrate my desire to explain myself; likewise, when I’m closed I must feel open, because I constantly feel as if I’ve said too much. Finding myself in either position, I often wish I was in the other: for instance, I desire to be closed when I feel I’m too open, or, not recognizing that I’m open, open. Open, I wish to be closed or open; closed, open or closed.

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