Quickly, the Okie minister and his wife ascend the steps leading into the clapboard church. It’s just as they feared. The wife grabs a broom from the supply closet while the minister pours toxic fluids into a bucket. Oh my god the rest of this was going to be about the congregation having turned to lizards and the minister (why Okie? I don’t know) and his wife burning down the church or something. They had hoped their prayers would have turned the congregation back but they don’t mess around when god doesn’t do something for them they take care of it their damn selves they don’t wait around for a miracle. Then they would travel the world as a husband-wife monster destruction team because I guess monsters are everywhere in this crazy world and these two are extremely tough and capable. To air Wednesday nights on the WB. But I hadn’t planned on getting anywhere near that far, okay? Not even close to that, honestly. To be honest, my brain kind of hurts.