Today I finished the last of my marking. I’ve been slow since my exam, waking up early but sleeping in anyway. I’m trying to correct something. In the afternoon I go to the AGO and walk through the Hito Steyerl exhibit before closing, as the sun begins to set. The bright lights and neons look good in the sunset and the fading light. I will go back again and perhaps again after that. I want to let this exhibit work through me, to spend time with the video installations. I began the year reading quickly through Duty Free Art and so it feels appropriate to end the year with Steyerl’s exhibit. The morning I spent reading Gottman at Field Trip, at a space by the window. I’ve been going there often, because The Hub closed, but also because it’s the right distance away for this weather. Gigi’s is a little too far, walking. I want the museum to work through me, in the way that the museum sometimes does. But I arrive relatively late, and I’m eager to see the two new exhibits which, because they actually aren’t that new, are on the point of leaving. Instead it’s a kind of bookmark—I’ll return again. The neon goes in and out of me. Rubens’s angel remains on the wall. The tears of the mourners holding Jesus of Nazareth are just paint, though the red faces of the men and women holding him do affect me. Later, on the phone with Laura, I hear Evey in the background. Her voice is bright and chippy. She’s eating crepes and clementines. Life is very good, whatever I’m feeling. In fact it’s always better to feel something, whatever it is, then to feel nothing. In fact I like living in any kind of feeling. 

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