One of the hardest things to do is to make amends for things you should not have done. It is one thing to outrun your shame—to leap and bound past old feelings that were ultimately not your own, the insults and the limitations that were imprinted on you by those that you first loved. But it is something else to be reminded of your own bad behaviour, the ways in which you have let down or hurt others who cared for or loved you. Sometimes the mind rebels—finds solace in anger, anger to go with shock and grief. What happened could not possibly be your own doing, the brain tells us. What was was not—how could it be? Would you then have been what you were? An arrow, or a sword, pointed at the other, keeps it away. How can that be then repaired? How much easier it is forgive others than it is to forgive yourself. Ironically, easier to forgive then than when you are the cause of the injury, searching for an answer that can’t be found. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s